2ww

As I sit here its hard not to dwell on the 14 days after ovulation a little thing we in the ttc world call the dreaded 2 week wait. I think of all the 2ww's I have experienced. Filled with the what if's and second guessing every possible symptom that could lead me to my bfp (big fat positive)for this cycle. As long as I have been tring to conceive you would think it would come easy and I would be able to go about my day not really putting too much thought in to it, but the longer I ttc the more and more hard the infamous 2 ww becomes.I wish that you could just have one cycle where every symptom was by the book and it would be a unmistakable positive test to follow. "oh I think my breasts hurt, or I have slight twinges in my ovaries." I am now 11 dpo (days past ovulation) and I try so hard to not be let down. I wait for exactly 14 dpo to test and every time I see that damn negative result I feel like I am grieving all over again. Grieving the loss of what could have been. I know it is best to stay positive , but at this point all I feel like doing is giving up to defeat of my body. I look around and see all these ladies in my community and feel like screaming to the world:"when will it be my turn!" I know that these are mostly the thoughts of everyone ttc'ing and it is totally ok to get angry sometimes. I just want you to know that if you are ever at a place where you are in your 2ww and feel alone or disheartened that I am here. I am here for your shoulder to cry on or to help keep your mind off this agonizing time. Who would ever know how 14 simple days can change your life? We do, those of us still praying for a miracle to have in our arms. I love you all:)